Beautiful Mind
by InvaderRed
Summary: Rated for swearing and sexual referenceshints...Gaz thinks about her relationship with Dib and Zim...It's angsty and stuff. Hint:She does something drastic! Now READ!


AN:Hey, it's me again! Wow, that was SO not cool...well, hope you enjoy this! Hey, count all the commas, and you win: Adhesive Medical Strips!

Disclaimer:Tallest Red is my bohemian love slave! No, seriously! I'm not kidding you here...Shut up!

**Beautiful Mind**

It must be nice to have a beautiful mind, a perfect life, and a happy ending. Too bad that's not reality...At least not for me. My name is Gaz and I'm 17. My purple hair comes down to my waist, and my eyes are a soft honey colour. I'm pale and thin. Perfect complection if you ignores these flecks of blood. I'm considered to be a beautiful gothic girl, but I don't see any beauty. I see a lonely mess. Misguided.

When I was 10ish, I used to think my brother was an idiot. A moron who never knew when to quit. He was always ranting and raving about how our neighbor's dad was BigFoot, or how Zim was an alien trying to destroy the world.

Zim. My brother Dib's arch - nemesis. A real useless pain in the ass if you ask me. Those two were always fighting! When they weren't, Dib would either be spying on him or telling me about what he thinks Zim's plotting. I didn't want to hear it. Why should Dib make such a big deal about Zim when he can't even disguise himself properly? He wore a black pointed wig that sort of resembled my brother's hair, he always wore his alien uniform, he had purple contacts, and he had green skin. He was far from normal, just like my brother.

As time went on, those morons started coming here more often. I wanted them out. Away. They disrupted my quiet life. Why couldn't they have their stupid fights OUTside? I just wanted to play my GameSlave alone, with noone to bother me. I told Dib that he was insane, that he needed help, but that didn't stop him. Nothing EVER stops my brother.

Soon, the fighting lessened, but they still came here They came into MY house, fighting about stupid things when I was around. But I'm not that stupid. At night, I would lay awake, grinding my teeth to the sound of Dib screaming in ecstasy. They panted, they screamed. I ground my teeth so hard I thought they would break. I wanted to kill them, for ruining my night, thinking me stupid, and for being so goddamn HAPPY.

It drove me insane listening to them screaming each others' names in pure bliss. I hated it more than anything. In the morning, Zim and Dib would glance at each other across the table at breakfast. I was invisible. I told Dib AGAIN that he needed help. But after awhile I wondered. What if this was the way things were supposed to be? Maybe I needed help...

It got me thinking about Zim. He can't be all THAT bad, and besides, he was kinda cute. I stared at Zim during meals, and the funny thing was, he stared back. He suddenly wanted me and I knew it. He wanted ME, not my fagget brother.

The nights with Dib lessened and was replaced by nights with ME. Zim and I really had it going. I thought it was love, I did. I found someone to love, and someone who would love me back. I screamed in ecstasy, not Dib. THIS was how life should have stayed, but Dib interfered. He asked Zim why he was being so distant, why they didn't spend as much time together anymore. Why, why, why. And Zim couldn't take it. My brother's innocense and loving devotion got to him. He wouldn't be with ME anymore, 'cuz it hurt him to see Dib's face when he didn't understand what was going on.

Our nights lessened, once again replaced with nights with Dib. I once again ground my teeth in anger. When it got really loud I sniffed myself stupid, so I didn't care either way. But no matter what I did, it hurt. It hurt more than anything I had ever experienced before. It hurt so bad that I cried. I never cry. I hated Dib so much for that, so much for making me cry, making me weak. Who would've thought that my weakling of a brother would be the cause of my tears? I still hate him.

Zim altogether forgot about me, forgot about what we had shared. Dib was the only thing in his mind. They went out, they laughed, they fucked. It burned me inside. It was revolting the way Dib would walk around the house with this big grin on his face. He'd speak to me as if nothing had happened beween me and Zim. He talked to me as if Zim and I were barely friends. In HIS mind, we DIDN'T do anything. He told me about how happy he was, how perfect Zim was, and how bright the day was. He also told me that I was the BEST sister that he could ever ask for. I don't know WHY he said that, but he did. And I snapped.

As he slept, for once without Zim, I crept into his room. 2:45 a.m.. Standing over his bed I watched him sleep alone, the way I sleep every night. I don't know if it was my heart thumping or my breathing, but either way Dib woke up. He smiled at me sleepily before seeing the knife in my hand.

His eyes shot open when he saw it. I had expected him to struggle, maybe get caught in the sheets and fall out of bed. But he didn't. He just stared up at me with those wide eyes, just like a scared rabbit. He knew what was going to happen next, and he couldn't fucking believe it.

I smiled sadly, leaning over and whispering, "You had this coming, Brother." I could see he didn't understand, so I just plunged the knife into his chest. He screamed in pain, in fear, in agony. Maybe I could stab my reasoning into him. Show him what I felt all this time. Steal his innocense. But he just didn't get it. I could tell. He just screamed and writhed. Up and down, up and down. There was blood everywhere. Finally, his screaming ended.

My hands were now covered in the red substance, and I wiped them on my night gown. His bed and the floor was a mess. It still is, just waiting for me to burn it away, destroy it. Erase all the memories.

Well, I've filled the hole now, so I guess I should get right on that. I realize that I've selfishly destroyed alot, and I know it really doesn't fix anything.

Yet somehow, I've fixed everything.


End file.
